See through the mask of mean people

Rabbi Zelig Pliskin, in his Daily Lift e-mail, writes:

It's easy to be intimidated by mean people. See through their mask. Underneath is an insecure and unhappy person. They are alienated from others because they are alienated from themselves.

Have compassion for them. Not pity, not condemning, not fear, but compassion. Feel for their suffering. Identify with their core humanity. You might be able to influence them for the good. You might not. Either way your compassion frees you from their destructiveness. And if you would like to help them change, compassion gives you a chance to succeed.

I wrote about a similar topic on my business blog recently. I was working with an individual last week for whom being mean or angry seemed to be her most go-to and natural emotion. That's a rough way to live. As I wrote in my business blog:

Yelling at a colleague or a customer service rep may temporarily make you feel better, but will it really solve the problem? Probably not. Instead, you may have just spread unhappiness to others, who in turn may become frustrated, hurt or angry and pass it on to another, who passes it on to another and on and on.

My Nana said it best. "You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar."

Rabbi Pliskin's Daily Lift really caught my eye today. He reminded me that mean people (or angry people) are really just insecure and unhappy under their mask -- a reminder that there is no power in a person's anger and that compassion for that individual frees you from that person's destructiveness.